Transcript: Raffaele Sollecito - Katie Couric Interview

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Katie Couric interviews Raffaele Sollecito, Broadcast September 18, 2012

Couric: Raffaele Sollecito, welcome. And I know that your new book…

Sollecito:  Thank you so much

Couric: … "Honor Bound, my Journey to Hell and Back" ..

Sollecito: I'm really glad to be here 

Couric: … "with Amanda Knox" is out today. Thank you very much. I know this is also your first interview in English 

Sollecito: Yeah, this is my first one. I'm a little bit [unintelligible]

Couric: So you're a little bit nervous yes, So we're going to make the questions clear and I will speak slowly and concisely. But a lot of people I think might be surprised, Rafaele, to learn that you only knew Amanda Knox for nine days 

Sollecito:  Yeah It is

Couric:  When this happened, tell me what was your relationship like?

Sollecito: Well, we started our relationship since the first day we met. Umm.. It was. umm..  We kissed  umm.. to, upon beautiful sparkling light outside of Perugia. And ah, just the day we met, and ah, during the night we met. And, we started ah, really it was a really nice relationship. It was a dreamy one because I was living alone in my apartment and we shared almost all the day long. We just…

Couric: You are inseparable you were together all the time? 

Sollecito: Yeah, almost all the time just for the lectures we just split for, during the time of the lectures at University. And so in that period she was much more at my apartment than in their one. It was really an intensive, umm..  intensive story, but it was the start, the start of knowing Amanda. So. It, yeah, so it, it's crazy. 

Couric: It, it was that sort of wonderful beginning of a new romance. You were both sort of swept off your feet. I know you were especially. So nine days into this relationship. You are finding yourself in the middle of one of the most sensational murder cases in the last decade, what was that like going from this sort of love affair with this beautiful young girl to this nightmare?

Sollecito: We, yeah, so four years of nightmare. It's hard to explain that, but just the media made, the media frenzy build up,builded up an image that doesn't exist, is not the real image of me and Amanda. 

Couric: But there were some things that raised suspicions and you can understand why the two of you became a target for the investigation. I know the morning after the murder, after Amanda had spent the night with you, she went back to her apartment. She found the front door was open, that blood was in the bathroom. 

Sollecito: No, no, there were literally the little droplets inside the basin. 

Couric: but blood was in the bathroom.. 

Sollecito: No, inside the basin.. 

Couric: the basin, but also on the carpet. There was some on the carpet as well right? 

Sollecito: No, no it was kind of a water ah, um, stain but if it was not so clear that it was blood. 

Couric: Meredith's door was closed and locked, and Amanda didn't call the police. Did you find that strange? In retrospect maybe at the time you were confused about what was going on, but why do you think she didn't call the police immediately?

Sollecito:  Well, she didn't know Italian very well and she had no emergency number to call. I called the local Carabinieri right after I discovered all this peculiarities but no one was thinking about something bad because the media described it like there was blood in the, in the bathroom. But, you, there, there were only very little droplets that can, can came also if your nosebleed or is bleeding, so it's not so alarming the situation you look around. And she didn't know,  umm.. the broke window. Well, after I realized all the peculiarities around step-by-step I, I alerted the local Carabinieri.

Couric: And you called the police.

Sollecito:  And, umm.. Yeah

Couric: But there were other things. I know Rafaele,you both claimed you were at the apartment the night of the murder, and, but your stories were sometimes inconsistent as you know. Amanda confessed to being at the scene, being at her apartment. She then recanted., You told police at one point you didn't know if she might have left your apartment that night because you were asleep so it seems there are still a lot of unanswered questions. So can you understand at least why the police considered you two suspects?

Sollecito:  Well, the police, the police, the detectives they wanted it. [full response appears edited out]

Couric:  You all say you were naïve as well.. 

Sollecito: Yeah we were, we were [uninteligible]

Couric: You didn't get lawyers.. 

Sollecito: We didn't, I didn't feel the need to have a lawyer because I , I didn't touch anything. I didn't get into the murder scene, I, ah, I was completely, logically for me it was impossible that I would be ever charged with a murder like that. 

Couric: I think one of the strangest things that people observed following this murder was your behavior and Amanda's behavior when you all were cuddling, you were kissing, outside the murder scene, almost right after the body had been found and was being removed.. 

Sollecito: But, Amanda was shocked. She was completely shocked, she was staring inside, the mm.. In, in the middle of an empty space, and I was the only one who was ever there to comfort her. It was a comforting kiss. Her family was right ah, right on the other side of the world at that time. The only person she could trust at that time was just me.

Couric: but also you were snuggling at the police station. She was doing a cartwheel during your interrogation even you admit in your book Rafaele, that her behavior made you uncomfortable in retrospect.

Sollecito: No, it's not her behavior that made me uncomfortable. The detectives had eyes on us since the beginning. 

Couric: So you think it was perfectly fine to be sort of cuddling and, at the police headquarters, and for.. 

Sollecito: no, no it wasn't fine. 

Couric: I mean, I know that you've written that you did not feel comfortable with that. 

Sollecito: Yeah, but I didn't feel comfortable because of the Amanda behavior. That was not the right moment because the detectives had eyes on us. So I felt comfortable, uncomfortable for that not because Amanda's personality. 

Couric: When we come back. I know were going to talk about what Rafaelle thinks happened that fateful night and what it was like to reunite later with Amanda in Seattle.. 

[break]

[Video of Amanda in the Seattle airport]

Couric: that was Amanda Knox last October when she arrived back in Seattle after spending four years in an Italian prison. We're continuing our conversation now with Rafaele Sollecito, Amanda's ex-boyfriend, who was with her on the night of the murder of Meredith Kercher in Italy. Raffaele, you spent almost 4 years in prison. What was that like? How did you spend your days?

Sollecito:  It was impossible to bear, I wish no one would experience what I experienced. Because six months at first of solitary confinement having all the world against you. It's a wound that it's hard to, to a, to heal.

Couric:  Did you stay in touch with Amanda while you were in prison? Did you exchange notes and letters and communicate?

Sollecito:  Yeah, um almost umm.. Once a week, almost once a week and on average and we shared any kind of thoughts, just talking about days how the days passed on, how, just sharing magazines, books, music CDs. We, we told the relationship with our families, with friends. 

Couric: I know that police your lawyers even your own father tried to get you to turn on Amanda during the course of this.. 

Sollecito: Yeah, um 

Couric: this investigation, but you didn't. Why was it so important for you to stand by her?

Sollecito:  Well I cannot blame my family and my friends to just push me and say, making me realize that I was risking all my life for a girl that I had dated just for, only, something more than one week. It was terrible. And, but, I, um, just, on, on the plate there was ah, just, be, umm, umm, my life over or throw Amanda under the bus. But these two place for me had the same weight, because I cannot walk on the street being a free man just realizing that I'm the reason for a 20 years old innocent to be spend the rest of her life in prison. 

Couric: What do you think happened that night?

Sollecito: well, it's hard to, umm, to imagine what happened that night to Meredith but umm, my defense team just investigating found out that Rudy Guede, this guy, was in the murder scene, did the same kind of barbary to a lawyer office almost one month before. This style was almost the same. So hmm, just realizing that this guy was over there er, umm, was used also by the prosecution to, uh, to charge us. 

Couric: And he is now serving 16 years in prison for the crime and you believe justice has been served? 

Sollecito: Ah well, umm.. I have other ideas about the enjailment in general.

Couric: You think the sentence should've been longer?

Sollecito:  Ah, Well, I'm ah, I don't want to judge,  Eh, uh, I, ah, I, ess, For what I experienced, em, for me, um the enjailment is no reason at all. So, um, it's not the amount of years that you spend in prison that can relieve, er, uh kind of, er, umm, umm, [audible gulp], kind of pain like that. 

Couric: When we come back we are going to talk about your reunion with Amanda Knox.

[break]

Couric: We're back with Raffaele, Amanda Knox's Italian ex-boyfriend. I know that you reunited with Amanda in Seattle in April, you went to visit her. What was that like for you? 

Sollecito: Well, um, I had to spread the image of Amanda that was a ghost brought by, er, portrayed by the media um. in a bad way thas was my nightmare for four years. And the real Amanda, th, th, they, with, during that dreamy week. So when I look at her, I was, I get stuck a little bit. I was nervous, because I, I had, I had the still psychological wounds of this nightmare that had passed in prison. And, her, the, she, her image brought me up also the image of the nightmare. But when she hugging me after a while, um, I realized that Amanda is, the Amanda that I dated for that week, she is not the Amanda that was my nightmare, the ghost Amanda that was the nightmare during the four years. 

Couric: Do you wish you had never met her?


Sollecito:  No. I don't regret it. Because it is not her fault. The fault is from the detectives who brought up the case.

Couric:  And do you still communicate with her now? Are you in touch?

Sollecito:  Yes, we Skyped, we Skype sometimes. We exchange e-mails. Last time she is sent a song for me d.d. during the last Skype communication.  

Couric: I know that the prosecution is appealing your acquittal. There is a chance you could, but it is quite remote, that you could go through another trial, go back to prison. What would you say to a significant number of people who do still believe that you and Amanda were involved in the murder of Meredith Kercher what would you say to them?

Sollecito:  Well, um, I'm pretty sure that they just followed the case by the media. The media frenzy created just a figure that is, is, it doesn't exist. So they created a story to brought just to keep the audience, to keep the audience and make money. They just accepted what the prosecution brought to them. But all the details, they spread around were, were without any circumstance around. They were disconnected to each other and they created a fog of nonsense. So I wrote a book and just to have the opportunity to talk about me to, to keep the figure of me.. 

Couric: And to give your side of the story 

Sollecito: to take the figure they portrayed and take that figure back to me, to my, to my own, and just tell the truth and the story of what happened during the all over, all over this ordeal.

Couric:  It seems to me that the one person almost forgotten in all of this is 21 year old Meredith Kercher who was brutally murdered that night. Her family says they are still looking for answers. What would you say to them today now that time has passed?

Sollecito: Well, um, I cannot barely imagine their pain, there suffer and I'm really sorry for that. But, and I wish them, really badly, I wish them to find out what truly happened to their daughter, because if they found the truth about what happened to her. That would be also for me, um, um, a way to move on because finding the truth is the, is also the truth for me. That we, me and Amanda, we were not there, er, during that night of the murder.

Couric: Raffaele Sollecito, the book is called "Honor Bound My Journey to Hell and Back with Amanda Knox. Thank you very much for being here today. We appreciate it. Everyone here in the audience will be getting a copy of your book. Thank you.

Sollecito:  I'm really glad to be here. 

Couric: Thank you. Thank you.

Amanda Knox - Gift to the Police - Nov 7th, 2007 - Transcript

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This is very strange, I know, but really what happened is as confusing to me as it is to everyone else. I have been told there is hard evidence saying that I was at the place of the murder of my friend when it happened. This, I want to confirm, is something that to me, if asked a few days ago, would be impossible.

I know that Raffaele has placed evidence against me, saying that I was not with him on the night of Meredith's murder, but let me tell you this. In my mind there are things I remember and things that are confused. My account of this story goes as follows, despite the evidence stacked against me:

On Thursday November 1 I saw Meredith the last time at my house when she left around 3 or 4 in the afternoon. Raffaele was with me at the time. We, Raffaele and I, stayed at my house for a little while longer and around 5 in the evening we left to watch the movie Amelie at his house. After the movie I received a message from Patrik [sic], for whom I work at the pub "Le Chic". He told me in this message that it wasn't necessary for me to come into work for the evening because there was no one at my work.

Now I remember to have also replied with the message: "See you later. Have a good evening!" and this for me does not mean that I wanted to meet him immediately. In particular because I said: "Good evening!" What happened after I know does not match up with what Raffaele was saying, but this is what I remember. I told Raffaele that I didn't have to work and that I could remain at home for the evening. After that I believe we relaxed in his room together, perhaps I checked my email. Perhaps I read or studied or perhaps I made love to Raffaele. In fact, I think I did make love with him.

However, I admit that this period of time is rather strange because I am not quite sure. I smoked marijuana with him and I might even have fallen asleep. These things I am not sure about and I know they are important to the case and to help myself, but in reality, I don't think I did much. One thing I do remember is that I took a shower with Raffaele and this might explain how we passed the time. In truth, I do not remember exactly what day it was, but I do remember that we had a shower and we washed ourselves for a long time. He cleaned my ears, he dried and combed my hair.

One of the things I am sure that definitely happened the night on which Meredith was murdered was that Raffaele and I ate fairly late, I think around 11 in the evening, although I can't be sure because I didn't look at the clock. After dinner I noticed there was blood on Raffaele's hand, but I was under the impression that it was blood from the fish. After we ate Raffaele washed the dishes but the pipes under his sink broke and water flooded the floor. But because he didn't have a mop I said we could clean it up tomorrow because we (Meredith, Laura, Filomena and I) have a mop at home. I remember it was quite late because we were both very tired (though I can't say the time).

The next thing I remember was waking up the morning of Friday November 2nd around 10am and I took a plastic bag to take back my dirty cloths to go back to my house. It was then that I arrived home alone that I found the door to my house was wide open and this all began. In regards to this "confession" that I made last night, I want to make clear that I'm very doubtful of the verity of my statements because they were made under the pressures of stress, shock and extreme exhaustion. Not only was I told I would be arrested and put in jail for 30 years, but I was also hit in the head when I didn't remember a fact correctly. I understand that the police are under a lot of stress, so I understand the treatment I received.

However, it was under this pressure and after many hours of confusion that my mind came up with these answers. In my mind I saw Patrik in flashes of blurred images. I saw him near the basketball court. I saw him at my front door. I saw myself cowering in the kitchen with my hands over my ears because in my head I could hear Meredith screaming. But I've said this many times so as to make myself clear: these things seem unreal to me, like a dream, and I am unsure if they are real things that happened or are just dreams my head has made to try to answer the questions in my head and the questions I am being asked.

But the truth is, I am unsure about the truth and here's why:

1. The police have told me that they have hard evidence that places me at the house, my house, at the time of Meredith's murder. I don't know what proof they are talking about, but if this is true, it means I am very confused and my dreams must be real.

2. My boyfriend has claimed that I have said things that I know are not true. I KNOW I told him I didn't have to work that night. I remember that moment very clearly. I also NEVER asked him to lie for me. This is absolutely a lie. What I don't understand is why Raffaele, who has always been so caring and gentle with me, would lie about this. What does he have to hide? I don't think he killed Meredith, but I do think he is scared, like me. He walked into a situation that he has never had to be in, and perhaps he is trying to find a way out by disassociating himself with me.

Honestly, I understand because this is a very scary situation. I also know that the police don't believe things of me that I know I can explain, such as:

1. I know the police are confused as to why it took me so long to call someone after I found the door to my house open and blood in the bathroom. The truth is, I wasn't sure what to think, but I definitely didn't think the worst, that someone was murdered. I thought a lot of things, mainly that perhaps someone got hurt and left quickly to take care of it. I also thought that maybe one of my roommates was having menstral [sic] problems and hadn't cleaned up. Perhaps I was in shock, but at the time I didn't know what to think and that's the truth. That is why I talked to Raffaele about it in the morning, because I was worried and wanted advice.

2. I also know that the fact that I can't fully recall the events that I claim took place at Raffaele's home during the time that Meredith was murdered is incriminating. And I stand by my statements that I made last night about events that could have taken place in my home with Patrik, but I want to make very clear that these events seem more unreal to me that what I said before, that I stayed at Raffaele's house.

3. I'm very confused at this time. My head is full of contrasting ideas and I know I can be frustrating to work with for this reason. But I also want to tell the truth as best I can. Everything I have said in regards to my involvement in Meredith's death, even though it is contrasting, are the best truth that I have been able to think.

[illegible section]

I'm trying, I really am, because I'm scared for myself. I know I didn't kill Meredith. That's all I know for sure. In these flashbacks that I'm having, I see Patrik as the murderer, but the way the truth feels in my mind, there is no way for me to have known because I don't remember FOR SURE if I was at my house that night. The questions that need answering, at least for how I'm thinking are:

1. Why did Raffaele lie? (or for you) Did Raffaele lie?
2. Why did I think of Patrik?
3. Is the evidence proving my pressance [sic] at the time and place of the crime reliable? If so, what does this say about my memory? Is it reliable?
4. Is there any other evidence condemning Patrik or any other person?
3. Who is the REAL murder [sic]? This is particularly important because I don't feel I can be used as condemning testimone [sic] in this instance.

I have a clearer mind that I've had before, but I'm still missing parts, which I know is bad for me. But this is the truth and this is what I'm thinking at this time. Please don't yell at me because it only makes me more confused, which doesn't help anyone. I understand how serious this situation is, and as such, I want to give you this information as soon and as clearly as possible.

If there are still parts that don't make sense, please ask me. I'm doing the best I can, just like you are. Please believe me at least in that, although I understand if you don't. All I know is that I didn't kill Meredith, and so I have nothing but lies to be afraid of.

Amanda Knox - Letter Home , Nov 4th, 2007

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This is an email for everyone, because id like to get it all out and
not have to repeat myself a hundred times like ive been having to do
at the police station. some of you already know some things, some of
you know nothing. what im about to say i cant say to journalists or
newspapers, and i require that of anone receiving this information as
well. this is m account of how i found my roommate murdered the
morning of friday, november 2nd.


The last time i saw meredith, 22, english, beautiful, funny, was when
i came home from spending the night at a friends house. It was the day
after halloween, thursday. I got home and she was still asleep, bu
after i had taken a shower and was fumbling around the kitchen she
emerged from her room with the blood of her costume (vampire) still
dripping down her chin. We talked for a while in the kitchen, how the
night went, what our plans were for the day. Nothing out of the
ordinary. then she went to take a shower and i began to start eating a
little while i waited for my friend (Raffaele-at whose house i stayed
over) to arrive at my house. He came right after i started eating and
he made himself some pasta. as we were eating together meredith came
out of the shower and grabbed some laundry or put some laundry in, one
or the other and returned into her room after saying hi to raffael.
after lunch i began to play guitar with raffael and meredith came out
of her room and went to the door. she said bye and left for the day.
it was the last time i saw her alive.

after a little while of playing guitar me and raffael went to his
house to watch movies and after to eat dinner and generally spend the
evening and night indoors. we didnt go out. the next morning i woke up
around 1030 and after grabbing my few things i left raffael's
appartment and walked the five minute walk back to my house to once
again take a shower and grab a chane of clothes. i also needed to grab
a mop because after dinner raffael had spilled a lot of water on the
floor of his kitchen by accident and didnt have a mop to clean it up.
so i arrived home and the first abnormal thing i noticed was the door
was wide open. here's the thingabout the door to our house: its
broken, in such a way that you have to use the keys to keep it closed.
if we dont have the door locked, it is really easy for the wond to
blow the door open, and so, my roommates and i always have the door
locked unless we are running really quickley to bring the garbage out
or to get something from the neighbors who live below us. (another
important piece of imformation: for those who dont know, i inhabit a
house of two stories, of which my three roommates and i share the
second story appartment. there are four italian guys of our age
between 22 and 26 who live below us. we are all wuite good friends and
we talk often. giacomo is especially welcome because he plays guitar
with me and laura, one of my roommates, and is, or was dating
meredith. the other three are marco, stefano, and ricardo.) anyway, so
the door was wide open. strange, yes, but not so strange that i really
thought anything about it. i assumed someone in the house was doing
exactly what i just said, taking out the trash or talking really
uickley to the neighbors downstairs. so i closed the door behind me
but i didnt lock it, assuming that the person who left the door open
would like to come back in. when i entered i called out if anyone was
there, but no one responded and i assumed that if anyone was there,
they were still asleep. lauras door was open which meant she wasnt
home, and filomenas door was also closed. my door was open like always
and meredith door was closed, which to me weant she was sleeping. i
undressed in my room and took a quick shower in one of the two
bathrooms in my house, the one that is right next to meredith and my
bedrooms (situated right next to one another). it was after i stepped
out of the shower and onto the mat that i noticed the blood in the
bathroom. it was on the mat i was using to dry my feet and there were
drops of blood in the sink. at first i thought the blood might have
come from my ears which i had pierced extrensively not too long ago,
but then immediately i know it wasnt mine becaus the stains on the mat
were too big for just droplets form my ear, and when i touched the
blood in the sink it was caked on already. there was also blood
smeered on the faucet. again, however, i thought it was strange,
because my roommates and i are very clean and we wouldnt leave blood
int he bathroom, but i assumed that perhaps meredith was having
menstral issues and hadnt cleaned up yet. ew, but nothing to worry
about. i left the bathroom and got dressed in my room. after i got
dressed i went to the other bathroom in my house, the one that
filomena dn laura use, and used their hairdryer to obviously dry my
hair and it was after i was putting back the dryer that i noticed the
shit that was left in the toilet, something that definately no one in
out house would do. i started feeling a little uncomfortable and so i
grabbed the mop from out closet and lef the house, closing and locking
the door that no one had come back through while i was in the shower,
and i returned to raffael's place. after we had used the mop to clean
up the kitchen i told raffael about what i had seen in the house over
breakfast. the strange blood in the bathroom, the door wide open, the
shit left in the toilet. he suggested i call one of my roommates, so i
called filomena. filomena had been at a party the night before with
her boyfriend marco (not the same marco who lives downstairs but we'll
call him marco-f as in filomena and the other can be marco-n as in
neighbor). she also told me that laura wasnt at home and hadnt been
because she was on business in rome. which meant the only one who had
spent the night at our house last night was meredith, and she was as
of yet unaccounted for. filomena seemed really worried, so i told her
id call meredith and then call her back. i called both of merediths
phones the english one first and last and the italian one between. the
first time i called the english phone is rang and then sounded as of
there was disturbance, but no one answered. i then calle the italian
phone and it just kept ringing, no answer. i called her english phone
again and this time an english voice told me her phone was out of
service. raffael and i gathered our things and went back to my house.
i unlocked the door and im going to tell this really slowly to get
everything right so just have patience with me. the living
room/kitchen was fine. looked perfectly normal. i was checking for
signs of our things missing, should there have been a burglar in our
house the night before. filomenas room was closed, but when i opned
the door her room and a mess and her window was open and completely
broken, but her computer was still sitting on her desk like it always
was and this confused me. convinced that we had been robbed i went to
lauras room and looked quickley in, but it was spottless, like it
hadnt even been touced. this too, i thought was odd. i then went into
the part of the house that meredith and i share and checked my room
for things missing, which there werent. then i knocked on merediths
room.

at first i thought she was alseep so i knocked gently, but when she
didnt respond i knocked louder and louder until i was really banging
on her door and shouting her name. no response. panicing, i ran out
onto our terrace to see if maybe i could see over the ledge into her
room from the window, but i couldnt see in. bad angle. i then went
into the bathroom where i had dried my hair and looked really quickley
into the toilet. in my panic i thought i hadnt seen anything there,
which to me meant whoever was in my house had been there when i had
been there. as it turns out the police told me later that the toilet
was full and that the shit had just fallen to the bottom of the
toilet, so i didnt see it. i ran outside and down to our neighbors
door. the lights were out but i banged ont he door anyway. i wanted to
ask them if they had heard anything the night before, but no one was
home. i ran back into the house. in the living room raffael told me he
wanted to see if he could break down merediths door. he tried, and
cracked the door, but we couldnt open it. it was then that we decided
to call the cops. there are two types of cops in italy, carbanieri
(local, dealing with traffic and domestic calls) and the police
investigaters. he first called his sister for advice and then called
the carbanieri. i then called filomna who said she would be on her way
home immediately. while we were waiting, two ununiformed police
investigaters came to our house. i showed them what i could and told
them what i knew. gave them ohone numbers and explained a bit in
broken italian, and then filomena arrived with her boyfriend marco-f
and two other friends of hers. all together we checked the houe out,
talked to the polie,a nd in a big they all opened merediths door.
i was in the kitchen stadning aside, having really done my part for
the situation. but when they opened merediths door and i heard
filomena scream "a foot! a foot!" in italian i immedaitely tried to
get to merediths room but raffael grabbed me and took me out of the
house. the police told everyone to get out and not long afterward the
carabinieri arrived and then soon afterward, more police
investigators. they took all of our informaton and asked us the same
questions over and over. at the time i had only what i was wearing and
my badg, which thankfully had my passport in it and my wallet. no
jacket though, and i was freezing. after sticking around at the housr
for a bit, the police told us to go to the station to give testimony,
which i did. i was in a room for six hours straight after that without
seeing anyone else, answering questions in italian for the first hour
and then they brought in an interpreter and he helped my out with the
details that i didnt know the words for. they asked me of course about
the the morning, the last time i saw her, and because i was the
closest to her, questions about her habits and her relationships.
afterward, when they were taking my fingerprints, i met two of
merediths english friends, two girls she goes out with, including the
lat one who saw her alive that night she was murdered. they also had
their prints taken. after that, this was around 9 at night by this
time, i was taken into the waiting room where there was various other
people who i all knew from varous places who all knew meredith. her
friends from england, my roommates, even the owner of the pub she most
frequented. after a while my neighbors were taken in too, having just
arived home from a weeklong vacation in their home town, which
eplained why they werent home when i banged on their door. later than
that another guy showed up and was taken in for questioning, a guy i
dont like but who both meredith and i knew from different occasions, a
morracan guy that i only know by his nickname amongst the girls
"shaky". then i sat around in this waiting room wthout having the
chance to leave or eat anything besides vending maschine food (whcih
gave me a hell of a stomache ache) until 530 in the morning. during
this time i received calls from a lot of different people, family
mostly of course, and i also talked with the rest. especially to find
out what exactly was in merediths room whent hey opened it. apparently
her body was laying under a sheet, and with her foot sticking out and
there was a lot of blood. whoever had did this had slit her throat.
they told me to be back in at 11am. i went home to raffael's place and
ate something substantial, and passed out.

in the morning raffael drove me bck to the police station but had to
leave me when they said they wantrd to take me back to the house for
quesioning. before i go on, id like to ssay that i was strictly told
not to speak about this, but im speaking with you people who are not
involved and who cant do anything bad except talk to journalists,
which i hope you wont do. i have to get this off my chest because its
pressing down on me and it helps to know that someone besides me knows
something, and that im not the one who knows the most out of everyone.
at the house they asked me very personal questions about meredith's
life and also about the personalities of our neighbors. how well did i
know them? pretty well, we are friends. was meredith sexually active?
yeah, she borrowed a few of my condoms. does she like anal? wtf? i
dont know. does she use vaseline? for her lips? what kind of person is
stefano? nice guy, has a really pretty girlfriend. hmmm...very
interesting....weìd like to how you something, and tell us if this is
out of normal. tehy took me into the nieghbors house. the had breaken the door open
to get in, but they told me to ingonore that. the rooms were all open.
giacomo and marco-n's room was spotless which made since becaus the
guys had thoroughly cleaned the whole house before they left on
vacation. stefano's room however, well, his bed was strpped of linens,
which was odd, and the comfoter he used was shoved up at the top of
his bed, with blood on it. i obviously told then that the blood was
definatley out of normal and also that he usually has his bed made.
they took note of it and ussred me out. when i left the house to go
back to the police station they told me to put my jacket over my head
and duck down below the window so the reporters wouldnt try to talk to
me. at the station i just had to repeat the answers that i had givne
at the house do they could type them up and after a good 5 and a half
hour day with the police again raffael picked me up and took me out
for some well-deserved pizza. i was starving. i then bought some
underwear because as it turns out i wont be able to leave italy for a
while as well as enter my house. i only had the clothes i was wearing
the day it bagan, so i bought some underwear and borrwed a pair of
pants from raffael.

Spoke with my remaining roommates that night (last night) and it was a
hurricane of emotions and stress but we needed it anyway. What we have
been discussing is bascially what to do next. We are trying to keep
our heads on straight. First things first though, my roommates both
work for lawyers, and they are going to try to send a request through
on monday to retrieve important documents of ours that are still in
the house. Secondly, we are going to talk to the agency that we used
to find our house and obviously request to move out. It kind of sucks
that we have to pay the next months rent, but the owner has protection
within the contract.

After that, I guess I'll go back to class on
monday, although im not sure what im going to do about people asking
me questions, because i really dont want to talk again about what
happened. Ive been talking an awful lot lately and im pretty tired of
it. After that, Its like im trying to remember what i was doing before
all this happened. I still need to figure out who i need to talk to
and what i need to do to continue studying in perugia, because its
what i want to do.

Anyway, thats the update, feeling okay, hope you all are well,

amanda

Amanda Knox - Statement to the Court upon her Appeal

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Amanda's speech in court, Translated from the Italian:

...It would happen sometimes that someone would propose a subject to discuss among us, everyone giving their opinion. I liked to followed these discussions but I was uncomfortable about whether I should participate directly, because I'm not talented for discussions. Often I don't succeed in expressing my convictions, at least verbally right at the moment. In fact, of all my friends, I'm the weakest for this. That's why, jokingly, my friend would usually jump on this, that my character was so peace-loving, and would inspire me with a little sentence: “Stand up for yourself Poindexter”, which means “Defend yourself, grind” [secchiona=someone who studies too hard, too serious]. It was a joke. And inevitably I would answer, but when the answer would come out of my mouth it would get all twisted around and incomprehensible, incomprehensibly twisted around itself. I mean, I just didn't succeed in answering, because my mind would get blocked and my tongue would get all stuck. I couldn't do the thing that my friend often asked me to do, which was to defend myself. We have to imagine that I'm the weakest person in this room for expressing myself. That's why I ask for patience, because all this that I've prepared are the things that I didn't succeed in saying to you yet. Or better, I'm in front of you for the second time, but these are the things that I would like to have said already. I ask you for patience because there have been opportunities to speak, but I was of few words. [?] I hope that words are going to come to me now, because I never expected to find myself here, condemned for a crime I didn't do. In these three years, I've learned your language, and I've seen how the procedure goes, but I've never gotten used to this broken life. I still don't know how to face all this [3:00] if I don't [?] myself, who I've always been, in spite of the suffocating awkwardness. I was wrong to think that there are right or wrong places and moments to say important things. Important things have to be said, and that's all.

The only thing I am really sorry about now is that there are people to whom I should turn, who are not here, but I hope my words will reach them, because I am either locked in prison, or I'm here. And I'm here. To the family and dear ones of Meredith, I want to say that I'm so sorry that Meredith is not here any more. I can't know how you feel, but I too have little sisters, and the idea of their suffering and infinite loss terrifies me. It's incomprehensible, it's unacceptable, what happened, what Meredith underwent. [Long pause] I'm sorry all this happened to you [??] It's not just and never will be. You're not alone [??] because I'm thinking of you. I also remember Meredith, [5:00] and my heart bleeds for all of you. Meredith was kind, intelligent, nice and always available. She was the one who invited me to see Perugia, with her, as a friend. I'm grateful and honored to have been able to be in her company and to have been able to know her.


Patrick? I don't see you. But, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, because I didn't want to wrong you. I was very naïve and really not courageous, because I should have been able to endure the pressure that pushed me to hurt you. I didn't want to contribute to all that you suffered. You know what it means to have unjust accusations imposed on your skin. You didn't deserve what you went through. I hope you'll succeed in finding your peace."
Meredith's death was a terrible shock for me. She was my new friend, a reference point for me here in Perugia. But she was killed. [7:00] Because I heard an infinity about her [?un infinita verso di lei?], suddenly, in her death, I recognized my own vulnerability. I clung above all to Raffaele, who was a source of reassurance, consolation, availability and love for me. I also tried to help with[?] the investigation, because I wanted to help render justice for Meredith. It was another shock to find myself accused and arrested. I needed a lot of time to accept that reality, of being accused, and redefined unjustly. I was in prison, my photo was everywhere. Unjust, mean rumors about my private life, almost always[?], were circulated about me. Living this experience [?] unacceptable. I have trusted above all to the hope that everything will be arranged as it should have been, and that this enormous error about me will be recognized, and that every day that I spend in a cell and in court is one day nearer to my liberty. This is my consolation, in the darkness, that lets me live without despairing, doing my best to continue my life as I always have, in contact with my dear friends and my family, dreaming about the future. [9:06]

Now, I am unjustly condemned, and more aware than ever of this hard and undeserved reality. I still hope for justice, and dream about a future. Even if this experience of three years weighs me down with anguish and fear, here I am, in front of you, more intimidated than ever, not because I'm afraid or could ever be afraid of the truth, but because I have already seen justice go wrong[?] The truth about me and Raffaele is not yet recognized, and we are paying with our lives for a crime that we did not commit. He and I deserve freedom, like everyone in this courtroom today. We don't deserve the three years that we already paid, and we certainly don't deserve more. I am innocent. Raffaele is innocent. We did not kill Meredith. [10:54] I beg you to truly consider that an enormous mistake has been made in regard to us. No justice is rendered to Meredith or her dear ones by taking our lives away and making us pay for something we didn't do. I am not the person that the prosecution says I am, not at all. According to them, I'm a dangerous, diabolical, jealous, uncaring and violent girl. Their hypotheses depend on this. But I've never been that girl. Never. The people who know me are witnesses of my personality. My past, I mean my real past, not the one talked about in the tabloids, proves that I've always been like this, like I really am, and if all this is not enough, I ask you, I invite you, I ask you to ask the people who [?] me for three years. Ask them if I have ever been violent, aggressive or uncaring in front of the suffering that is part of the broken lives in prison. Because I assure you that I'm not like that. I assure you that I have never resembled the images painted by the prosecution. [13:00] How could it be possible that I could be capable of achieving the kind of violence that Meredith suffered? How could it be possible that I could throw myself like that at the opportunity to hurt one of my friends? [?] such a violence, as though it were more important and more natural than all my teaching, all my values, all my dreams and my whole life? All this is not possible. That girl is not me. I am the girl that I have always shown myself to be and have always been. I repeat that I also am asking for justice. Raffaele and I are innocent, and we want to live our lives in freedom. We are not responsible for Meredith's death, and, I repeat, no justice is accomplished by taking our lives away. [Whispers: “okay”] Um, thank you."